LGBT: ‘Coming out to parents and family’

LGBTDeciding to tell your parents you are gay is a big decision and one many people find hard. None of us like being judged and we care about what people, and especially our family, think about us. But being gay or lesbian is not a crime nor is it something to be ashamed of so if you haven’t told your parents about your sexuality yet, or you have decided now is the right time, here are some tips on how to go about telling them.

During a meal

OK, we don’t mean while your parents have Great Aunt Maud around for dinner, but sometimes the best thing to do is to just simply say it during a conversation if you feel comfortable. For example, if you go home at weekends, or during holidays then when you are all having something to eat, you could try ‘I have something to tell you…’ then just come out and say it. You will probably be surprised to find out that your parents already know, or have suspected for some time. Parents, as much as we don’t like it, often know their kids quite well and they might have noticed you seem attracted to the same sex. When people are sat down eating together they are often relaxed so that is a great time to tell them. You also have the added benefit of your parent’s listening carefully to what you are saying as there are no distractions.

Hint dropping

Sometimes if we are not comfortable to tell someone something directly, we like to go about it indirectly, for example dropping a few subtle hints into conversations. Comments such as mentioning a person on TV that you find attractive is a good one, or telling your parents that you had a good night out at the university gay bar is another one. You will probably find they will then just ask you if you are gay and you simply answer yes and the job is done.

Ask a trusted family member to be with you for support

If you are worried about how your parents might react to the news you could seek out support from another family member that you are not worried about disclosing your sexuality to. Perhaps you have an understanding brother or sister, or an auntie or uncle you trust. You will feel more confident if you have someone supporting you when you do break the news to them and your alley will make sure there are no over-reactions and everyone listens and talks in a calm and rational way.

Tell each family member individually

If making an announcement to the whole family in one go is too daunting then you could consider telling your family individually. Don’t ask them to do the job for you and tell everyone else on your behalf. This is something that is best coming from you and your family will be hurt if they hear the news from someone else.

Just remember that it is your life and you can make your own decisions without needing approval. If your family react badly to the news just give them time to adjust. It’s very unlikely they will stay angry or upset for long. If this does happen then you could consider getting a puppy to take your mind off it all. You can find some adorable little cuties for sale online by clicking see their dogs for sale.

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